about me

I guess this is where I put some interesting facts about myself, right? Well, let's see. I live in Calgary with my wife and our cat. I enjoy cooking and reading, and when I was a kid I went to a special Monster's Inc. screening that I believed was going to be attended by its lead stars Billy Crystal and John Goodman.

The problem is that this was in fact a regular showtime on a noneventful Saturday afternoon. Also, it was in Dubai. Billy Crystal and John Goodman were, in fact, not there.

My parents simply told me I was going to see Monster's Inc., thanks to some free tickets we got through my dad's job, and my brain followed that up with "ergo, the actors who voice the green eyeball and giant blue rug will be there as well."

Actors Billy Crystal and John Goodman were not at the Monsters Inc. premiere that I attended as an 11-year-old child. *Credit: Lastfm.com*

This was not a misunderstanding or a miscommunucation. No one told me to expect Billy Crystal and John Goodman. It was an entirely fabricated worldview that I willed into existence. I built a false altar dedicated to this lie and worshipped in silence. I truly believed, and I worry I haven't believed in anything with the same zeal ever since.

Why did I know who Billy Crystal and John Goodman were? It makes no sense. I was 11 years old. Why did I care? Let's say they were truly going to be at this screening. What, did I think they were going to talk to me? Spill the details on their acting process that brought the dynamic friendship of James P. "Sulley" Sullivan and Mike Wazowski to life? Share some stats on how the factory's financials have been ever since they switched to harvesting children's laughter instead of their screams? Come on, man. Grow up.

It's baffling. How did I — with barely any internet access — know the names and faces of Billy Crystal and John Goodman? My media diet consisted of Smart Guy, a football anime called Captain Majid (Captain Tsubasa in English) and Dinosaurs, which is a show about a family of dinosaurs. That show was awesome.

Hang on, Steve Buscemi was in this movie? He plays RANDALL? I thought that character was the guy from Law and Order: New York. You know, the guy who looks like Randall? This guy:

Actor Gary Sinese. — Gary Sinese, who apparently had nothing to do with Monsters Inc. *Credit: Goldenglobes.com*

Randall Boggs from Monsters Inc. — Randall Boggs from Monster Inc., who apparently has nothing to do with Gary Sinese. *Credit: Alamy*.

Do I know anything about this godforsaken movie? What if I walked into the premiere and said "Hey! Where's my boy Gary Sinese at!" They would have lobbed me out of the theatre. What an embarassment that would have been to myself, my family and the fragile egos of 11-year-old boys the world over.

Wait! Other people on the internet also see the Gary Sinese and Randall Boggs connection. It's not just me! Here's a post from Reddit titled: "Trying to figure out a Hollywood male actor that looks like Randall Boggs from Monster Inc. and Randall Weems from recess."

And here's another comment from a completely different post saying "Randall definitely looks like Gary Sinise."

Oh, you're still here. What was I talking about? Right. Facts about me. I'm a frontend software engineer. I love JavaScript and building incredible, fun and useful tools with it. And...I've never met Billy Crystal and John Goodman.